Sad but true

This e-mail has been doing the rounds lately. I just got it now for the third time in as many weeks and figured I'd share it with you. It's funny...but sad at the same time...

Welcome to Dubai:

If your road map is more than a few weeks old, throw it out and get a new one.

If you are in Al Rashidiya and your map is one day old, then it is already obsolete.

Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Dubai has its own version of traffic rules, which can be summarized as "Hold on and pray!"

There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Dubai. Everyone drives like that.

The morning rush hour is from 5AM to noon. The evening rush hour is from 1PM to 10PM. Wednesday's rush hour starts Tuesday morning.

If you slow down at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended and then given a ticket by the Dubai Police.

If you are the first one at the intersection, when the light turns green ignore the car honking behind you and count to five to avoid crashing into one of the cars running the red light in cross-traffic.

Construction on all main roads is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment.

All unfamiliar sights are explained by the phrase, "Oh, we must be in Sharjah!"

Car horns are actually toys for big boys.

Anyone in a Land Cruiser or Mercedes with tinted windows has the right of way. Period.

Most roads mysteriously change names as you cross intersections.

To ask directions, you must have knowledge of Urdu.

A trip across town will take a minimum of four hours, although Sheik Zayed Road has an unposted minimum speed of 150 kph.

The minimum acceptable speed on the Emirates Road is 160 kph. Anything less is considered downright sissy. Al Khail Road is Dubai's daily version of NASCAR.